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Another Very Worthy Rerun.

“We can’t exempt ourselves from the rules that apply to everybody else,” said the guy who invented mandatory ACA and doesn’t have to use it.
Recently, while I was working in the flower beds in the front yard,
my neighbors stopped to chat as they returned home from walking their dog.
During our friendly conversation, I asked their little girl what she wanted to
be when she grew up. She said she wanted to be President someday.
Both of her parents, Democratic Party members, were standing there so
I asked her, “If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?”
She replied… “I’d give food and houses to all the homeless people.”
Her parents beamed with pride! “Wow…what a worthy goal!”
I said…”But you don’t have to wait until you’re President to do that!”
“What do you mean?” she replied.
So I told her, “You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds,
and trim my hedge, and I’ll pay you $50. Then you can go over to the grocery
store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use
toward food and a new house.”
She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked,
“Why doesn’t the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay
him the $50?”
I said, “Welcome to the Republican Party.”
Her parents aren’t speaking to me anymore.
Do you know any Republicans that would get a chuckle out of this?
Share with others as they may get a chuckle out of this one too.


Walking On The Grass

Walking On The Grass

The room was full of pregnant women with their husbands.

The instructor said, “Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you.
Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and
will make delivery that much easier.

Just pace yourself, make plenty of stops and try to stay on a soft surface
like grass or a path.”

“Gentlemen, remember — you’re in this together. It wouldn’t hurt you to go
walking with her. In fact, that shared experience would be good for you

The room suddenly became very quiet as the men absorbed this information.

After a few moments a man, name unknown, at the back of the room, slowly
raised his hand.

“Yes?” said the Instructor.

“I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a golf bag
while we walk?”

Brings a tear to your eye, doesn’t it?

This kind of sensitivity just can’t be taught.

Livin’ On The Edge

Livin’ on the edge
Yesterday was such a shit day that I am amazed this morning to still be in my home and not in a cell wearing a very unfortunate shade of orange. You know that feeling where you’re so close to the edge that stabbing people with a rusty spoon sounds vaguely like a good idea? Well, that was me yesterday. I don’t get like this very often but it sort of bled into this morning so I had to look myself in the mirror and do a check up from the neck up.

Knowing when I’ve reached the point of mass destruction is an important thing for me. Being able to stop it is an even bigger thing. I have to take time to reassess and decide if I want to continue down a path that will most certainly land me in a cell with a really big hulking butch named Esther or if I should take a different route. This morning, I decided to take the different route. 😀 It doesn’t mean I am all better or that I suddenly developed amnesia. It means that I’ve decided not to let these things control my emotions. So….time to smell the roses and be thankful for what I have.

Things that keep me sane:

1. Seeing how absolutely adorable my dog is and how much she loves me.
2. Reminding myself that I set an example for my son.
3. Remember that things will keep moving and eventually this will pass.
4. Recognizing that I am just a small piece of the puzzle.
5. Read the news headlines. Sounds morbid but it reminds me that it could be worse…
6. Remembering that I am a redneck and as such can get away with doing stupid shit to amuse myself because people think I’m too stupid to know better. 😀
7. When people start bitching, all I hear in my head as I watch their lips move is “stupid, stupid, stupid, idiot, OMG I can’t believe they know how to speak!”
8. Reminding myself that orange is not my color.
9. Pester my best friend from high school with posts of amazingly ridiculous, and sometimes disgusting, pictures of bacon stuff.
10. Reveling in the beauty of nature to remind myself that there is something better around the corner.